His last name was Butt
And he couldn’t deny
There was no remedy
That he wouldn’t try
Although he would tell them
He was no relation
Discredit all claims
Change pronunciation
The end of the day
It was so sad but true
Anybody could see
Mom and dad were Butts too
He’d kill to be any
Like Lipschitz or Weiner
Not so obvious
Though perhaps some obscener
Couldn’t change it around
Or try to be cute
Or say that it’s really
Bott, Bitt, Bett or Bute
Couldn’t trade it at marriage
Couldn’t take it away
So he’d be a Butt
Until his dying day
A burden for life
He was destined to carry
Thank his lucky stars
His first name’s not Harry
My deepest sympathies to anyone with an unfortunate last name.
Glorious Results Of A Misspent Youth 
Haha…. very good!!!! I changed mine for the better as well… lol
Oh yes, it may have been extremely shallow of me, but I was glad for the upgrade I got taking my husband’s name and not sure if I would have if it was something heinous!
I would have thought the same. But my maiden name was a long and difficult one. For my blog a torture… lol
You know, it also is very good for character building. When I saw your name on the comments and such, I always thought, Erika Kind…well with a last name like Kind, she has to be nice! Ha, so far it seems to be holding up!
Haha… this is so amazing how things come together. When I married I never thought to have a place in the English world. Now this name seems to open doors… It is crazy. The meaning in German is completely different.
Brilliant! I can’t imagine going through life with that last name. 😀
Yes, I actually had an Ebay customer with this last name and I just started thinking…and no way to get around that one!
lol! No there was NO way!
Way!!
As a young man, he was alway rubbing people the wrong way … some said he was a real ass, in fact. Poor guy. Great poem, Marissa. And that photo is a bomb!
Oh good one Mark. Now I feel as though I need to add a verse.
No, I don’t want to add work for you because I’m a wise guy. 🙂
Truth be told, I’ll probably leave the poem as it, but inspiration is always welcome!
Hohoho…you just reminded me of a poem we used to rhyme in childhood of silly names… loved it :))
LOL! You never fail to make me smile. I’ve learned to never read your poetry while drinking coffee. Guffawing and coffee is hard on keyboards and monitors. I have some inlaws with that last name. Their first names are also cleverly crafted by a family with an unfortunate sense of humor. Surprisingly, none of them are in therapy. 🙂
he can always pretend it’s pronounced boot (rhymes with hoot), lol. In business I once encountered someone named Betty Surprise–still one of my favorites!
No joke.. I know several Butts’, and one of them, a man in his late 70’s, goes by his middle name Bill, because… wait for it.. his first name is Harold.
Oh no, that’s really bad! At least it’s not Seymore!!
So he’d be a Butt
Until his dying day..
Gosh, can’t stop laughing! Sorry. It is funny but a lot of people have to live with it. Like you said til their dying day. Oh dear. I should just keep my mouth shut for my daughter’s still young. You never know she may end up marrying one with one big butt!
I know! I thought that it was a bit mean spirited but I came across this guy on Ebay and just couldn’t stop thinking about it. There’s really no getting around that! If your daughter ever falls in love with a Butt, I would strongly advise that she keep her maiden name!!
Duly noted!!!!!!
You are probably going to kill me for this. But I just can’t resist. Your post reminded me of this.
Well thanks. Now that’s in my head….forever!!!
Just doing my job. Thanks. 🙂
Of course!
Ha ha..hopefully he didn’t grow up and become a Proctologist 🙂
Oh, my. So many people with unfortunate names, but you’re right…thank goodness the first name wasn’t Harry! Loved this one. Made me LOL!
Yes, the poem may have been a bit cruel. Sorry but when the Muse hits, sometimes I just can’t help it. I gave him a saving grace I suppose.
But, there are a number of sports where a Butt is an advangage.
OH I relate, and that poor basketball player. OMG! Can you imagine a name like that? Another winner, Marissa! LOVE IT! I don’t like my maiden name because of how I was treated as a child, and I don’t like my married name at all. It is just not me. So, I go by AmyRose and when I do write my book (s) the name on the cover will be AmyRose … someone I created without anyone’s help. 🙂 Yep! True! So cool how your words brought this up to the surface. Hope your have a wonderful weekend, my friend! Love, Amy ❤
Yes, some of us really do suffer with unfortunate last names. I never liked my maiden name and feel like I ‘married up, in that sense to have a name that sounds much more gentrified, ha, ha! Otherwise I may have just kept my own!!
Why is it that women are supposed to give up their last name with marriage? Why don’t men? I never did understand.
I just read something about one of these celebrities who are getting married and her husband it taking her name. I think it may have been the daughter of Lenny Kravitz and Lisa Bonet but I’m trying to search for the article to send you the link and no luck. Maybe it was someone else….
YAY for woman power!!! All joking aside, I really think everyone should have the right to keep their last name. I think it has just evolved due to things getting complicated like filing for taxes and what not. It’s convenient to have ONE name so the woman’s name gets dropped. That and we still live in a man orientated world. 😦
Too funny… Well … I guess that there are worse things, though…. I mean … worse last names!…
All my best wishes, dear Marissa. Aquileana ⭐
Yes, and I can think of a few!! Thank you so much for your comment!
Funny girl! I grew up hearing the tale of a former Texas Governor with the last name, Hogg. I’d always heard that he had three girls named, Ima, Ura and Wera. Turns out Ura and Wera never existed, but Ima Hogg sure did. She never married. 😋
Seriously? Ima Hogg? That has to be a form of child abuse!
I thought that too, but your post prompted me to research Ima Hogg a little further. She was born in the 1890’s and had a really close relationship with her widowed father. She graduated from college in Texas and then went on to study music in NY. She actually founded the Houston Symphony. Ima Hogg led a pretty cool life for a turn of the century lady. I’m totally geeking out on history right now! Thanks for inadvertently inspiring me to learn something new today.
Here’s a link if you’re interested:
https://tshaonline.org/publications/books/31531
Oh gosh, I looked at the link and it really brought her to life. Well, I guess the whole name thing worked out for the best for old Ima. She seemed to do pretty well for herself.
My late mother used to teach a small boy called Neil Standing, and found herself forever saying:”Neil Standing sit down”
Well there’s a confusing one for you! May have scarred the poor boy for life! I had a shop teacher named Harry Kirschner.
Haha 😂 Good one!
Thank you!
The only positive for the young woman is that at least in her country, “taka” is pronounced with a whole other “take” than ours. So unfortunate but how funny was this whole episode from sit-com world, Marissa? I could see the animated family of Butts in all their quirky, awkward glory. Only some people who looked like Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner could truly “pull off” a family name like Butt and make it seem,”Cool, man.” Well, I wandered off into the clover field (or maybe poppy field?) again . . .
I don’t know…with a last name like Butt, I might be frightened to enter the entertainment industry without changing it first. I could just imagine a bunch of casting directors sitting around and saying something like “She’s really perfect of the role…but her last name is Butt…”
I agree and sometimes my puns aren’t funny. I was trying to use a playnon.the expression of “pulling it out of my butt” by saying only a beautiful couple could pull it off. Now you know why I don’t tell too many impromptu jokes! 🙂
Ha! A good one nonetheless!
Harry Butt? A Chinese fish?
Perhaps, but a very unfortunate Chinese fish at that.
I got nothing but laughs for this!!!! And mucho sympathy for the unfortunate name carriers….
As do I. Sorry to make a joke of it but…but it’s just so funny!! Pun intended…
😉 We have to laugh Marissa. It’s better than not!
Agreed!
GAK! That’s hilarious!!!!
Thank you Rachel!
Be good if he married a gal who had the forename ‘Anita’!
I’m trying to come up with another. You see, really I was caught between Harry and Seymore for the guy. Now, Anita Butt is good but does that imply that she doesn’t, in fact, have a butt? Oh what a birth defect. A bit sad, wouldn’t you say?
A neater butt in this neck of the woods is the finest thing I’ll have you know young Marissa!
Okay, I see…silly me! And here I was reading ‘I need a’ when you actually meant ‘a neater’. Yes, I can definitely see the benefits of a nice neat butt.
One of my greatest pleasures
Poor guy. Reminds me of an article I read on the Humans of New York facebook page about people who have strange names…Lovely post!
Yes, they have some interesting articles! Thank you Nimi!
I like big butts and I cannot lie…
(yeah, that was bad – I couldn’t resist!)
Thank you for the Monday morning laugh! xo
Well at least there is something positive for the Butts of the world!
Haha! Fantastically clever poem. 🙂
Thanks so much! I look forward to reading your blog as well!
Thank you! I appreciate that!
Very funny Marissa!
Unfortunate names are so sad! Last year I wrote a post about some names that mean a funny thing in another language. https://dotedon.wordpress.com/2014/07/15/388-days-to-go/
If you are stuck with a bad last name, I can understand… But parents choosing a terrible name for their kid? That’s mean! Some people name their boy: Homer Simpson Smith! Come on!! Have some heart!
Thanks for sharing that one with me. I already left a pretty long comment on the blog itself! Homer Simpson Smith?? Ha, ha! Really??
I read an article about those kind of names in Spanish. I’ll try to find it and write about it… You’ll feel like hitting those parents too!! 🙂
That would definitely make for a funny post!
I’m working on ti! 🙂
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I like big butts and i can not lie! haha this was great!
Oh yes, one of the many outcomes of having such a last name would surely be to hear that one over and over!!
Absolutely! How unfortunate!