High Stakes

Gladys lights her cigar up
Ethel her pipe bowl
She says “I see your coupons
And raise you a quarter roll!”

Esther says “I fold, you are
Too rich for my blood honey
Don’t think this pair of sevens
Gonna win your laundry money!”

Then I’m sure Martha is out
She’s always the most frugal
But she sees the quarters with
Her recipe for kugel

Estelle and Bea and Gwen are out
The stakes are much too hot
It’s just Ethel and Martha
Drawing cards now for the pot

Martha’s got her poker face
Will the end be dismal?
Bea misreads it and hands her
A pack of Pepto Bismol

And the next thing that I know
The pot is getting huge
Ethel’s put her girdle in
And orthopedic shoes

Martha isn’t backing down
In fact she is hell bent
With her prescription pot and her
Last will and testament

Martha threw in hard candies
A crystal centerpiece
Ethel threw in dates for Martha’s sons
With her her hot niece

And barely could I look as so
Much higher went the bids
Referral cards for doctors and
Pictures of their grandkids

How high the pile still would grow
I could only venture
But Martha did stop Ethel when
She offered up her dentures

Demanded that she show her hand
And Ethel was resigned
To fan the cards she held so dear
To show four of a kind

And Martha gathered up the pot
And Ethel paid her dues
All for a hand that turned out as
A lousy pair of twos.


49 thoughts on “High Stakes

    • Well, it all started when I went to Vegas last week. That was the corruption of me. Only it was really my muse see…she came back with such wicked stories. I covered my ears but it was no use!!

      • Good! I expect a verse on the topic of purity soon…by the way I am signing off WP for 2 weeks as from tomorrow because we have workmen in doing things with radiators and floorboards. As such France beckons and (this couldn’t happen in the US or the UK) the owner of the house we are renting ‘advertises’ as a plus point the fact that they have ‘occasional’ internet…should be interesting!

      • Yes, well you know, you were supposed to send me the address and exact days you were going to be in France so I could come along and read you my poetry but you never sent word and here you are leaving tomorrow. Should I be insulted?

      • You mustn’t be insulted! Tis near a place called Hucqueliers…all I have is a post code and the owners telephone number! The thing is they insist all poetry readings must be in French!

    • Oh believe me, I’m not much better. This poem was a result of some Vegas inspiration, a bit of looking over my husband’s shoulder while he played poker online, and a lot of Googling!!

      • Hehehehehehe I don’t gamble either, Marissa. I never understood the basics behind gambling. I guess I am just not a high stakes person, one who is willing to loose her shirt. GRIN! πŸ˜€

      • That was kind of why I wrote this. I know I used old ladies but I was thinking that this would be just like me…not to bet money but rather a coupon book or maybe a roll of quarters. Actually these broads make it pretty interesting!!

  1. Venture and Dentures & Frugal and Kugel. LOLOLOL. Oh, it’s so clear why I adore you! By the way, I’ve always wanted to do something with mistaking the words kegels and kugels. Loved this post!

  2. That’s some serious stakes Marissa. I think I would have folded before offering up my teeth (which would be pretty gory since they’re all attached still). I don’t think I could hang with these bad grannies.

  3. I wonder if she thought it was MORE than a set of two’s. This was such a fun reminder of what we may hold dear, as we grow older. I would take the date with grandson or son… smiles! This was really hilarious, Marissa!

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