Death By Chocolate

Sad signs of chocoholism. Note zombie like state, chocolate face smudges.

Sad signs of chocoholism. Note zombie like state, chocolate face smudges.

The year was 2051
Twas ten years to the day
Chocolate was illegalized
In the USA

The government said sadly
That’s how it had to be
Chocoholics roamed around
Causing anarchy

They drifted ‘cross the city streets
In their zombie-like states
Terrifying chocolate smudges
All about their face

And some so crazy with addiction
That they’d even dare
To dive in chocolate fountains down at
Ghiradelli Square

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The leader of the chocolate cartel attempting to dive into the chocolate fountain at Ghiradelli Square.

The world’s a safer place for it
But one family does dwell
Apocalyptic underground
A chocolate cartel

A frightening woman runs it
With her satanic plan
Accompanied by henchmen she calls
Shortie and The Man

Which may be evil midgets or
May be her son and daughter
Through the night surveillance as
They guard their precious border

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‘The Family’ guards their precious border.

Ships that come in nightly
Out on the streets their crooks
Who give our kids free candy as
They try to get them hooked

So scan your children carefully
And be suspicious lest
You find a wrapper in their drawer
Or chocolate on their breath

If they’re hopping up and down
As if in ecstacy
Or saying “how much for the dark”
Or “got PB & C”

A rather frightening picture of the leader of the cartel hoarding her chocolate stashes.

A rather frightening picture of the leader of the cartel hoarding her chocolate stashes.

But look out for this family
We’re out to make a bust
She’s likely armed with truffles
And she’s high dangerous

We sent one of our guys in once
An undercover frame
His death met in a chocolate vat
And never seen again

So beware her security
Her dealers and her users
She’s thick with Willy Wonka’s men
And hangs with Oompah Loompahs

anj cake

Shortie

Who’ve seen men to an ugly death
So heed for your protection
Those gone from chocolate overdose
Or worse, lethal injection

Or drowned wading in fudgy pools
Who never made it through it
Though I suppose if you must go
That’s one way you could do it.

The Man

The Man

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77 thoughts on “Death By Chocolate

  1. Oh, now this looks like a very formidable gang here! I’m going to be careful when I come to California and not get caught out by these chocolateers!
    Great verse as always, do love the glimpse into the Underworld they inhabit as well…..

  2. Beware of this family!!!!
    Loved the chocolate-eating pictures. Makes me drool. I just had yogurt, the other day, flavored, Death by Chocolate.
    I’m amazed at the self-control each of you lot had especially on the M&M photo.
    Battlecry: Devour ’em all!

    • That’s so funny…think I had a Death by Chocolate yogurt the other day too. Was it in a Tutti Frutti??

      Yes, when I look back on these pics and realize how big a role chocolate has played in my/our life/lives…it’s a wonder I don’t look like a house!!

      • Yes, it was! We have one nearby and it’s our dessert place – after in ‘n out burger πŸ˜›
        I can see it has a big place in your heart. From the tongue-sticking at the chocolate factory to the tons of pictures you and your fam have eating chocolate. It’s a sweeeet world!

      • It does! Yeah, I had never been to a Tutti Frutti before but then on Saturday we were stuck out in North Hollywood and had to grab a quick lunch and there it was!!

      • I was happy with plain vanilla, ikea yogurt. My siblings got me hooked on yogurtland that whenever we’re out especially around koreatown or universal, that’s it, we’re having one. But because Tutti Frutti nearest home, we tried it and liked it. Love the soybean too.

      • Yeah, it was my first time there. Usually stick to the sweet flavors and very partial to chocolate. Unfortunately, I’m a bit of a chocolate snob so it’s hard for me to branch out but I try to be open minded.

  3. Between you and Steeden I think I’ve strained something meaningful with all this laughter. If you guys ever decided to do a joint project you’d debilitate the world. Maybe it’s the chocolate?

  4. I’m recommending that the Inchcock’s Movement to Improve the Status of Chocoholics (North Nottingham Branch) adopt this as their battle cry! Good un gal!

  5. I don’t like chocolate all that much, but if this does happen and I find myself in possession of your sweet delicacy, trust me, I will gouge you for it. It’s business after all.. hehe

  6. This is hysterical and I would not put it past the government in the future to turn us all into outlaws, Marissa! I love chocolate but enjoy caramel, too. So, hoping they would at least ‘allow’ caramel and butterscotch on my ice cream! The photos were so fun and thanks for sharing your little ones, too. πŸ™‚

  7. Danger seems to be lurking everywhere!!

    I just did the math and based on average life expectancies, I could still be around when this ban takes place. That’s most alarming for an out-of-the-closet chocoholic like me. I think the best strategy is to suck up big time to the ringleader and her 2 henchmen now while the stakes are still low.

    Need anyone in Quality Control?

  8. Apocalypse now!…
    Did it happen the same day that weed was legalized all throughout the country! o_O LOL!
    I bet chocolate is more addictive! …
    Great poem, dear Marissa. All the best to you. Aquileana ⭐

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