Hair, There and Everywhere

Cut it, crimp it, dye it, tie it
Try a brand new doo
Mullet, spike it, how you like it
Dye it green or blue

Shave it, wave it, rat and spray it
Get a modern coiffe
Mousse it, spruce it, if you lose it
You can shave it off

Dread it, thread it, even shed it
Anyway you please
Bow it, show it, you can grow it
Right down to your knees

Pile it, style it, or beehive it
Put it in cornrows
Flip it, clip it, ‘stache your lip it
Or perhaps afroed

Free it, be it, or goatee it
Make it nice and chic
Bare it wear it care to Nair, don’t
wash it for a week

Braid it, plait it, or donate it
What best suits your mood
I don’t care, long as your hair
Don’t end up in my food.


78 thoughts on “Hair, There and Everywhere

  1. Yep. Food is no place for hair. Nothing says ‘lost my appetite’ more than a strand of hair in my soup.

  2. I don’t mind the hair in my food just as long as it doesn’t more or shine
    It’s not so much as long as it doesn’t get caught in my throat,l had to many things in my food even glass once or that shiny stuff from a scrubbie or even a twist tie

  3. My two-year old don’t seem to mind!

    Reminds me what hairstyle or color for this summer shall I do? Time to do something about my graying hair!

  4. I thought you were talking about my erstwhile pet Briard there…I often wonder what became of him and his hair was always in my food…mind I once served up Shirley’s brother some microwaved Charlie dog food (the Briard was called Charlie by the way) because I didn’t like him and the fool ate it hair and all – True! Whatever you poem is not only splendid yet has triggered all these memories I’d quite forgotten!

    • No, I don’t remember Long and Silky although I did follow that link. Does anyone really have hair like that? I do remember those, ‘I told a friend and she told a friend and so on and so on…’ Funny, I remember the commercial more than the brand. Had to Google it…Faberge…yep, looking forward to tomorrow.

  5. Very nice riff, reminds me of “Hair” the musical song. I probably am not using the word “riff” correctly but you know what I mean…And on the subject of shampoo, per other comments, it brought back memories of the 70’s classic shampoo Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific. I could attract a lot of bees with that one, if not men!!!

  6. Ah, Marissa, here I was thinking, ‘How in the world is she thinking of so many ways to do hair?’ and I finally come to the end and you hit me with that? Now that’s exactly what it feels like to find a hair in your food!

  7. I have found plenty of hair in food but the worst by far, was the giant, dirty toenail I once found in a tater tot. By found, I mean bit into. The Horror!

  8. Very nice Marissa. If I find a hair at home, I know it’s ours and these heads are clean ๐Ÿ™‚
    But that happening somewhere else….. (gagging now).

  9. This is such true story with great facts – The title hair there and everywhere brings great perspective from all over…Interesting!!

  10. As gross as hair in food is…….it’s better than someone’s finger nails. I had an iced cappucinno once. Drank clear to the BOTTOM and found a cup full of nail clippings. True story. Thought I was going to die. On. The. Spot.

  11. Wonderful–as always. Ever wonder why we only find hair in our food when the line was long and the service was longer and we’re desperately hungry and in a hurry and it’s just “fuck it,” so it’s hair, it was cooked. I’m just going to pull it out from between my teeth and proceed like nothing happened?

    • Yes, well, this was all inspired by a hair in food story related by a friend. The waitress’s response was ‘Well, you know, hair really isn’t that unsanitary.’ Perhaps, at times we should choose to agree.

  12. Pingback: When Bloggers’ Worlds Collide! (An offbeat Meet & Greet) | Once Upon Your Prime

  13. Pingback: When Bloggers’ Worlds Collide! (An Offbeat Meet & Greet) | Once Upon Your Prime

  14. I am in total agreement. I am fascinated by what people do to their hair, but I do not want to eat it. Ever get a hair on your tongue and you can’t grab it and get it off and as it trails down your throat it makes you gag. I really hate that.

  15. I have this feeling somewhere deep inside that you have at least tried each of these once. And I’m totally with the whole ‘not in my food’ comment… just.. no.

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