Stupid of the Shrapnel Elevator

I say now wouldn’t it be grand
If we all could form band
Think of what they’ll say in school
They’ll probably think we’re really cool

We’ll go on all kinds of dates
And maybe get to second base
All we need is a cool foursome
And I’ll sing because I’m awesome

No one’s volunteered so far
So you can play the lead guitar
For our rockin’ entourage
If we can jam in your garage

And, what’s that? Can you say ew?
Stephen wants to join up too?
I hear he’s weird and he eats paste
Okay he can play the bass

My little bro rounds out the band
He cries and beats on pots and pans
And besides I’m pretty sure
That he can even count to four

And we’re soon to achieve fame
Once we have a cool band name
Straight from Band Name Generator
‘Stupid of the Shrapnel Elevator’

And now that we’re official rockers
We’ll graffiti the school lockers
Hang in halls without our passes
Refuse to remove our sunglasses

Wear all black and act like rebels
Say that we worship the devil
Bug our moms till they relent
And buy expensive instruments

That will all look really cute
We’ll pose with them in photo shoots
And we’ll be well prepared the day
We actually learn how to play.


73 thoughts on “Stupid of the Shrapnel Elevator

  1. I love the name of the band you came up with…of all the random crazy going on in your mind at that time, how did you come up with this? Did you really use a generator?

    • You know, my one regret with the poem is that I did use band name generator so I can’t really take credit for that name but after I saw it, I just couldn’t top it. Oh well, I guess poets can be inspired by phrases anyway (this I used as my consolation.)

    • Yep, lately bass players have been getting a really bad rap. I don’t know why but I just figured that if a paste eater wanted to join the band we might as well designate him as bass player.

  2. I couldn’t resist … yes, there really is a band name generator and my new band is called Breakaway Vagrant.
    … like your poem, all I need now is a smidge of music talent … and maybe some new sunglasses πŸ˜‰

    • You know, lately I am hearing all these bassist jokes about how a woman wanted to sleep with a rock star but she ended up sleeping with the bass player. That’s why I demoted the paste eater, even though I have a special place in my heart for bassists (wonder why??). Anyway, it’s a dirty job but someone’s got to do it, if you’re on board. The paste eater can go!!

  3. We were in college and we had our own apartment and we didn’t have a name generator. But we wailed away on imaginary instruments all the time, we did, and so we named our imaginary band Cattle Crossiing. And we even took an imaginary album cover photo. I found it this week, Marissa. I will do a Throwback post about this, thanks to your poem. Oh, yes, we played imaginary Southern Rock. It was the 70s.

  4. I love it, and I just had to try the band name generator myself. I used the word bell because the church down the street has a malfunctioning bell that has been dinging, nonstop, for 48 hours. My band name is “Bell Knuckle And The Raisin”. Sure. Ok? πŸ™‚

  5. Now you see this would be my son…..putting in all this effort on the details and making me spend money on the new instruments and he doesn’t even know how to play. Yep, you got it in one with this one!

    • Both of my children attend School of Rock and have guitars. They both started on these $100 short scale Fenders. My son has since gotten a really nice one since he showed dedication but we’re still waiting to see with my daughter. They both know if they don’t practice…no School of Rock!! That’s way more expensive than the $100 guitar!

      • Wow. How cool is that…a School of Rock? Never heard of that before! Marissa you’re probably up for coolest mother of the year!

  6. Young generations get ready for everything even in advance…
    Β¨I love this stanza, dear Marissa.
    And now that we’re official rockers
    We’ll graffiti the school lockers
    Hang in halls without our passes
    Refuse to remove our sunglasses¨
    Great poem… Happy week ahead to you. Aquileana ⭐

  7. Pingback: Throwback: Fake cover for imaginary album by faux band. Really! | Mark Bialczak

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