The Battle

She pulled out a lipgloss
I pulled out a sewing kit
She pulled out mascara
I pulled out some cream for zits

She pulled out some tampons
I pulled out deodorant
She pulled out a scrunchy
And a large bottle of scent

I pulled out some aspirin
She pulled out sanitizer
I pulled out a mirror
And she pulled out tranquilizers

I pulled out green breath mints
She pulled out granola bars
I pulled out a notebook
She pulled out a jelly jar

I pulled out a water
I pulled out a burrito
She pulled out a pillow
And a pic of Jared Leto

And looking in the darkness
My stash was growing thin
Just a bunch of lint balls
And some bobby pins

But still she kept on going
Things came out of the blue
Her purse just notebook sized
It was too good to be true

With condoms, wallets, candy
Her stash still not completed
When she pulled out the kitchen sink
I knew I was defeated


76 thoughts on “The Battle

  1. She’s like that grandma from Halloween Town πŸ˜›

    I love this! At first, I thought it was about two siblings (one older, the other younger) with different interests. Then with the third stanza, I thought years had passed (look how they’ve changed). But in the end, it was a fun “What’s in Your Purse” challenge between friends/family. Now I’m reminded of the avocado Subway commercial:

    • Yes, definitely thought of Mary Poppins as I was writing this one. Thankfully, my purse is usually pretty empty except for necessities. This one was inspired by a friend of mine who was sitting next to me at a club. She just kept pulling things out of her purse and I was thinking ‘where are these coming from??’

      • At one point Elvis was hiding out in one of the pockets but I had to evict him. All that lip trembling and hip shaking were putting too much of a strain on my shoulders.

  2. Well you nailed it with that one young Marissa. Me being me (literal and all that) it took me a moment or two to understand ‘green breath’ was linked to ‘mints’ but I don’t think anyone else will be a stupid as me! Unless you really were going for ‘green breath’ – that would be amazing!

    • There was a point when I was thinking that one of them should pull a very small man from her purse but it didn’t quite work in the verse. I think that was where the pic of Jared Leto came from!

  3. This reminds me of that game, “Bring Me..” Sorry to say but I always win this. My husband says I’m always ready for anything. Everything but the kitchen sink. Haha! I guess she wins this time!

  4. Ah yes……the bag that never ends……except…mine is basically full of receipts for paint at this point….I can’t seem to dig far enough to get past those at this point……..Love this verse, Marissa.

    • Yes, receipts do tend to accumulate in mine. Usually I throw them out when I change purses. And it’s a good thing I do change purses on a regular basis. Otherwise I would probably have the same problem!

      • I’ve given up on changing out bags….now I usually don’t even carry one. Why would anyone need to carry around receipts for the past 3 months?

  5. Sooooo funny and yes with a grain of truth in here. What some women stuff in purses …… LOL You can usually find at least one camera in mine at all times. LOL Lipstick! Definitely on that! Wallet. Yes. Glasses. Check. And that’s about it. Tissues, maybe? Depends on if my nose is running or not. LOL Really enjoyed this! The kitchen sink ……Hehehehehehe Ironic yet so true!! Love, Amy

    • Yes, I travel light but when I’m out with my family I always get whatever excess pops up…toys my kids find, or I end up carrying my husband’s wallet! Men tend to get overstuffed pockets but at least they don’t end up with the carry over! ( unless a murse in employed )

  6. Reminds me of an old friend. Toddler with a dirty face? Whip out those wet ones! Kid with a snotty nose? Tissues to the rescue! Safety pins, sewing kit, pens and pencils! I think she may have even carried crayons when her kids were little. Thanks for the memory!

  7. This is exactly why I clean out my purse on a weekly basis now! I used to find all manner of things in my bag. I blame “Let’s Make A Deal” for airing when I was home sick from school. One woman’s trash…

    • Oh Phil, sorry to pander, but you must read the blog I’m publishing tomorrow. As a matter of fact, you got a shout out in the blog I wrote before this one, Mix Tape (inspired by your Rembrandts blog). I think you missed that one. No, it’s okay, I just cried myself to sleep.

  8. Pingback: Lawd Have Murse-y: An Ode To The Man Purse | Glorious Results Of A Misspent Youth

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