You Wanna Do This?

We argue, bicker, squabble, fight
And who is wrong and who is right
A victory who’s winning goal
Is less the point and more control

And when this fight has run it’s course
With nothing to show but exhaust
We pick at scabs of our debris
Buried deep in memory

And we stand off and look and glare
And both regret that we went there
And maybe lose our patience so
That we have finally come to blows

And break a bone, a vase, a ware
To a point beyond repair
So when the fight is dead and gone
The broken piece will carry on

And it’s poor newfound condition
Serves for further ammunition
A not so clever concealed wrapping
For a fight waiting to happen

But now our nerves tattered and frayed
How did we end up this way
From the source we’ve far departed
And forgot how the whole thing started


77 thoughts on “You Wanna Do This?

  1. You plainly need the advice of this 108 year old young Marissa. You see what you do when a row breaks out is – in turns I stress – throw insults at each other making sure along the way that each new insult sinks to a lower depth than its predecessor. Sooner or later with such insults becoming more and more vile and personal will come one that makes both participants in the row laugh. Shirl and I have been doing this for years!

  2. So true! After days of the ‘silent treatment’ that follows a tussle, we’re hard pressed to remember the reason for the fight in the first place.

      • Just today hubby admitted he has anger issues. This is the FIRST time he is admitting it, Marissa. Woo-HOO! The key with someone who has anger issues is not to get sucked into that anger, but to stand up to it saying NO! Easier said then done. Making progress with a Vet who is perpetually angry with the world in general … Making dents! YAY!!!!

      • Oh yes, Amy. Despite the light hearted tone of it, it must be awfully difficult. I really think there are a lot of people who struggle with anger issues. It takes a lot to admit it.

      • It took 31 years for me to HEAR hubby say what he just said to me. The FIRST step of change, of healing, is to SEE the problem and admit it. That takes a LOT in order for that to happen. Marissa, you have NO idea how happy I am. No one but that person with the issue can do the work. Hubby has gotten to first base and for this, I am so so so grateful!!! What war does to a soul is tragic!

    • Yes, I do argue with my husband on occasion but usually the arguments are short lived. This blog was inspired by a TV show episode, and also my relationship with my sister, which thankfully has improved over the years. I’m glad you are in a good relationship!!

  3. Definitely sounds like a fight between girls……girls have long memories when it comes to fights and picking over scabs. Lovely verse, but I think, reading some of these comments, you touched on a bit more than you bargained for, huh? Now everyone thinks you are in very loud, knock-down, drag out domestics every night! πŸ™‚

    • Oh goodness! I hope not! My sister and I fought a lot as adolescents and young adults. Then I saw a TV show with a man and woman fighting but it actually reminded me of how my sister and I fought, hence the poem!

  4. Like in the school yard, the kids circle and chant, Fight Fight Fight and the two combatants put their dukes and circle and circle and forget about their big beef in the first place. Ah, your domestic doings are far more dramatic, Marissa.

  5. My sister and I used to fight a lot too when we were still living together. Shouting matches that’s what we have. Nothing physical but banging walls, breaking cups, plates.. then afterwards the silence… Til one gives in or the rent is due. Hahaha!

  6. You are extraordinaire at capturing the dance between two people. “Dance” being used to define relationship in all it’s many forms that you do so well. πŸ™‚ And here? Yes, the Forgotten Tango.

  7. True. I love the title though. Fierce. I was using my iPad to read posts and pressed the unfollow button by mistake (I don’t like the WordPress app). So that’s the reason for the re-follow.

  8. Very nice Marissa!
    When the motive of the fight is forgotten, the fight should end immediately. No time to lose! (And hopefully, no slammed doors (I hate that!!!). πŸ™‚

  9. Another one hits home for me. I had this boyfriend and we had passionate fights with throwing things and slamming things and neighbor’s called police, even though nobody ever got hurt. And then the makeup sex was over the top too. At first this seemed a real exciting, “theatrical” never a dull moment way to exist. And then I realized that when this happens day in and day out, it all blurs together and suddenly it’s not exciting at all anymore, because it’s run of the mill and boring. Sitting peacefully one evening would have been really thrilling at that point! i love how your stuff always encapsulates a “slice of life” moment for me that i can personally relate and sorry for you that means I usually ramble on in your comments section.

    • When it’s you rambling an apology is never needed! That sounds like a pretty crazy relationship! Even though you would think I portrayed a couple here, it actually reminded me a lot of when my sister and I used to fight, yes, just like an old married couple!! Thankfully, things have calmed down on that front and there is now much drama in my relationship with my husband…although my neighbors may beg to differ!!

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