Tommy the Glue Eater

I thought Tommy was dreamy,
I thought he was the best,
I always moved my seat so that,
I could be near his desk.

But when I talked about my love,
Others just said “Ew,
How could you like Tommy?
Don’t you know that he eats glue?”

But I so loved my Tommy ,
And so I made the call,
To stand by my little man,
Glue eating and all.

In sickness, health, in thick or thin,
In any kind of weather,
Even though when we kissed,
Our lips would stick together.

Valentines Day rolled around,
What for Tommy I’d bring?
It took not long to figure out,
What seemed the perfect thing.

I’d make a homemade Valentine,
And I would not be lazy,
And stick on many ornaments,
With Elmer’s, craft and Krazy.

I’d glue it on the night before,
To make sure it would set,
And add more in the morning so,
That it was nice and wet.

And I was so excited,
When the time did roll around,
And there I would see Tommy,
Wait for me on the playground.

A smile came upon my lips,
A sight that made me merry,
My dear was there holding a box,
Of chocolate covered cherries.

And so I stood there by the side,
Of my dear Valentine,
As Tommy feasted on his gift,
And I feasted on mine.

I stayed with Tom for years until,
We grew apart somehow,
Then I heard that Tom had fell in,
With a rougher crowd.

I begged Tommy to stay away,
But he begged to differ,
Now Tommy the Glue Eater is,
Tommy the Glue Sniffer.


69 thoughts on “Tommy the Glue Eater

  1. There was many years ago a docker in London’s East End who would, for a party trick consume a woolly jumper and a pound of lard. His name was ‘Hooky’ Tom (on account of having just the one arm) and legend has it he one day chocked to death (all true this is). It’s just that I wondered if this Tom may be some way related to your Tom? They seem to have a lunacy in common!

      • Young Marissa I can assure you you did not date Hooky Tom – I learned of him from my dad and his boozing chums many years ago yet search the net as I have done he does not come up. Nor does another East End legend pre WW2 namely ‘Harry the Bomb Thrower’ so called…well it’s obvious really! And don’t claim you also dated him as I will think the less of you!

      • Yes, well if there is anyone of ill repute, no matter age, sex, or personal hygiene habits, I just may as well say I dated them because there’s probably a 50% chance. I guess I’ll just say highly unlikely on this one!!

      • As I’ve said many times before…you are in denial and it is clear to me you are as pure as the driven snow. I know these thing because I’m 108 years old – just check my FB page and you’ll see it’s true!

  2. Funny, sad, tragic. Yet I love the mixture. The epilogue was a great addition. Love the image of the lips getting stuck. And now I’ll make sure not to fall in love with any glue eaters.

  3. NEVER expect your endings and with this one, I was particularly glued till the finish. GENIUS! Now with my bizarreness, I thought for Valentine’s, he would give you some danish, donuts or other PASTEries! πŸ˜‰

  4. The thing that was hilarious about this to me as that I originally did not want to read it because my ex-husband’s name is Tommy.. but then of course I would read it because you wrote it, and before I was halfway through, I thought how funny that your Tommy ate glue and mine sniffed it… and then I read your ending! BWAAHAAHAA! How funny! πŸ˜€

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