The Light Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas,
Black light filled the room,
And we were all trippin’,
On reefer and ‘shrooms.

Lots of cool ganja,
Was passed around,
Till Loomis said “Hey man,
Did you hear that sound?”

We decided it nothing,
‘Cause we all agreed,
We were pretty out of it,
After that weed.

But wouldn’t you know it?
With a clang and shimmy,
Some old fat guy,
Came down our chimney!

He was dressed all in red,
With a long white beard,
Stoner Jim said “Trippy,”
Moonbeam said “Weird.”

But I guess Haze must have,
Had a bad batch,
He tore open the shutter,
And threw up the sash.

Screaming something ’bout elves,
And little fat men,
And you know we never ,
Saw poor Haze again…

But back to the story,
Jim said “Rock n’ roll!
Look the old dude,
Brought his own bowl!”

He told funny stories,
About crazy elves,
And we laughed when we heard them,
In spite of ourselves.

And how Mrs. Clause,
Is really incredible,
And cooks up mad batches,
Of righteous edibles.

And how he was sure,
He had overdosed,
When he saw Rudolf,
And that freaky nose.

And then suddenly,
He said “Hey man,
It’s time to blow,
This taco stand.”

And placing the bong,
Over his mouth and nose,
And inhaling deeply,
Up the chimney he rose.

And I heard him exclaim,
As he took to the sky,
“Merry Christmas to all,
I’m so fucking high!”

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51 thoughts on “The Light Before Christmas

    • Thanks Torrie! Well apparently there are a lot of people who see that pipe as serving duel purposes! You’d be surprised how easy it was for me to find that image, especially considering I limited the search for licensing purposes!

  1. Very funny Marissa!!
    The poor guy must get high every year, otherwise why would he want to keep doing that job at this crazy time of the year??
    Have a great day πŸ™‚

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