The Eye of the Beholder

I can cook for love or money,
But I could not turn down,
The job offer at this joint by,
The high class part of town.

But the prices on the menu!
Compared with the portions!
Was this place doing fair business?
Seems more like extortion!

For as a guest comes through the door,
How was I to nourish,
With a pricey dish no more than,
Broccoli with a flourish.

The restaurant is due to close,
I’m cleaning up my station,
When I am hit by a sudden,
Wave of inspiration.

Since I’m feeling a bit hungry,
I will take this lonely,
Time in the kitchen to fix some,
Bacon macaroni.

But then suddenly it hits me,
And I’m going for bust,
When I think how great it will be,
When fixed in a pie crust.

I throw in handfuls of pork and,
Pile on Doritos,
And consider how it would taste,
Stuffed in a burrito.

Spaghettios, chicken nuggets,
Go in and no sooner,
I’m searching the shelves for Twinkies,
And a can of tuna,

My concoction almost perfect,
Although what’s missing is,
Added as I go top it off,
With mountains of Cheese Whiz.

But perhaps it was all a dream,
For the reality,
This restaurant has no such food,
There goes my fantasy.

And so It seems that instead of,
My white trash masterpiece,
I somehow managed to whip up,
A fucking veggie quiche.



51 thoughts on “The Eye of the Beholder

  1. oh oh…you know what i best like to cook for myself – freshly brought vegetable mixed together and cooked a little to make a nice curry or sausage. i sometime mix 4-5 type of vegetable together and eat alone along with glass of drink imagining to be on a rooftop restra…:))

    • Oh yes, Mike, as stated above, although I am not a vegetarian, my healthy eating habits often cause me to eat like one. Can’t believe you don’t know what a Twinkie is!! It’s white sponge cake with cream filling, completely processed so that I believe it would survive a nuclear holocaust. Not too long ago they were saying the company would go bankrupt and there would be no more Twinkies so half eaten boxes were selling on Ebay for upward of $50. I guess there was such an outrage that the business decided to continue.

    • I hope twinkies ain’t wot I have been having trouble with at the clinic Mike? I guest Sir (Can’t touch me for it) I reckon a twinky is a cake with a creamy filling. Of course I might be wrong, it has been known.

  2. Looks good to me! The first time that I went to an upscale restaurant, I thought the dessert was a sampler. I remember telling my wife that they were going to let us try the dessert before buying it. My wife turned red and said that WAS dessert. *facepalm*

  3. Give the freaking quiche to Lorraine and stop on the way home for some Hostess Sno’ Balls. Pink mallow coconut flakes over chocolate cupcakes with cream filling. Got ’em in LA, Marissa? I can’t partake so I dream of Hostess Sno’ Balls. Not of Quiche. Ever. Canned cheese, yes indeedy.

      • Lucky you and sis snacking on the cakes of the gods, Marissa. πŸ™‚

        And Lorraine, she is off listening to that magical song written for her in the early 70s by Uriah Heep. Sweet Lorraine let the party carry on … Sorry. Probably before your time. I was just a young ‘un myself.

      • I bet a lot of people sang the wrong lyrics back to them using quiche instead of sweet, that’s for sure. But that wasn’t even my favorite Heep song. Two others maybe more prominent to you: “Easy Livin’ ” and “The Wizard” were prog-rock radio staples when I was at the juniior-high/high school bridge.

      • Oh yeah, Easy Livin’ and I’ve
        Been forgiven since you’ve
        Taken your place in my heart

        will be running through my head for the remainder of the afternoon. P.S. Don’t fault me if words are slightly incorrect!!

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