His vinyl jeans so tight that they
Muffin top his belly,
He thinks he’s a weird emo kid,
Folks think he’s old and smelly.
We know his real name is Eugene,
But Eugene’s have no fun,
Combined a cat’s and porn star’s names,
And now he’s Trikki Gunns.
The 80s already happened,
Time to update his look,
Got him some green extensions,
Wrote songs with grungy hooks.
He saw Marilyn Manson,
The white contacts he wears,
First thing next morning he ran out,
And he got himself a pair.
Now he caught up with the cool kids,
He’s looking lean and mean,
Somewhere near 1999,
Though it’s 2015.
No club in town that you could say,
His band didn’t play there,
The crowds are getting thinner,
Much like his graying his hair.
In his mind he’s a heartbreaker,
A rebel, he’s the bomb,
Taking the ladies to the home,
That he shares with his mom.
For though they’re few and far between,
He manages to score,
He says it’s just a place to lay
His head in between tours.
And thinks of that old song he knew,
Wonders if it’s a lie,
Can you be too old to rock n roll,
If you’re too young to die?
Glorious Results Of A Misspent Youth 
A real portrait of a guy who stuck in the past. I’ve met some of those. Pretty sad thing.
I know, glad you can sympathize!
we are always too young to die
This is true! So I suppose the question is…can we be too old to rock n’ roll?
Oh boy….stuck in the past sounds way too familiar….I don’t do the white contacts and extensions but I wonder if I’m as out of touch as poor old Eugene……
Another excellent verse….I always find it amazing the people I meet through your verses and how I can feel for them with only a few lines! I guess that’s down to you being an excellent writer!
Thank you! Yes, it’s not really just a heavy metal thing. I remember my mother, who was a teenager in the 60s, telling me about how she would see her friends 20 years later and they’d still be doing the straightened hair and thick eye liner. Ha, they should have waited a decade for it to come back in fashion!
He’s reminiscent of Mick Mars, IMO. Stuck in the past!
Yep, there’s really so many of them. Mick Mars got the brunt of it because he was old to begin with, but now there are tons of metal guys who are trying to modernize themselves and become relevant again.
Plus tu sais qui tu es, et ce qui tu veux, moins tu laisses les choses te contrarier mmm
Voilà une grande morale de cette histoire
How dare you – I mean you’ve been reading my mail yet plainly lied about me still living with my mum…well I keep her ashes in the shed but that’s another thing.
Really we I hadn’t heard of her passing…oooops! Maybe I should change that to ‘the home he shares with his dad.’
As it happens I kept me old mum’s ashes in a bag in the shed for a year then when dad died I was able to spread the ashes together. Everyone thought the shed bit was weird yet it made commonsense to me!
This could be my life story but I am still in the ’60s. I have been thinking about starting a band called Pluto and the Plutonians. Our first hit, and it will be a hit, will be “We want our planet back”. It will be a real screamer. I am looking for a really hot bass player. So wanna join?
Of course! L.A. rehearsals alright with you?
No. Since I am in Florida, we meet in the middle of the country.
Well, it sounds like a really great opportunity so…okay!! I’m in!!
You do know I am a founding member of PU? That’s Procrastinators Unanimous.
Awwwe, man! I was already booking my tickets!
Oh dear. Don’t we all know one of those. LOL!
Yes, with prior knowledge of your background into the hard rock/heavy metal scene, I’m sure you can sympathize!
Yes, for sure! LOL!
That photo.. that poem.. those images I now need to scrub out of my head… 😀
Ha, ha! Sorry!!
Eventually it’s difficult to get spandex over depends. (sorry. lol) 🙂
Oh my gosh!!! Too funny!!
Well the name could have been worse. But everything else is about as bad as you can get. Poor Trikki.
Yep, poor Trikki!
My friend Gary should read this but he’d probably think it was written about some other poor schmuk! There comes a point in everyone’s life when it’s time to lay the hairspray down :).
Yes, ‘Put your hands in the air and step away from the hairspray!”
Finally! You wrote a post about me!
Yes, well, I wouldn’t want you to feel insulted or anything…
I like how he becomes more sympathetic at the end. And the final question…who can answer? Only Trikki Gunns for himself, I guess.
Yes, the end did get a bit introspective. I actually had a little bit of regret writing this one because I thought it was a little mean (but of course that didn’t stop me from publishing it!) I was hoping the end could redeem it a little.
You hit the right combo here for a great read, Marissa. Both funny and sad. Of course in my ho you are never too old to rock and always too young to die. 😀
Interesting Elizabeth…and I have to say, I agree with you, but I think it’s more about the way people rock n’ roll. They might want to adapt and keep up with the times so they don’t become a relic. People like poor Trikki, I always want to say something like this to people like them, but you also have to admire them for keeping the faith.
Still have those tight black faux leather pants somewhere… just for old times sake! lol
As long as it’s strictly for nostalgic purposes…I’ll let it slide…lol
Yes they are! They don’t fit me anymore, anyways!!! Haha!
Like others have said before me, it seems we all know someone who falls in this category.
On the other hand, I hope someone is not thinking that about me 😉
It’s easy to fall into the past. I think the trick is just to try and stay current. I think we all have fears of being seen as someone who is lost in the past. So far, you don’t strike me as one of those people.
Let’s make a pact… we will never let one another be this person!!!
Sounds good to me!
Never to old to rock, but don’t dress like a tween!