That Day I Was A Waitress

imgres-10“Is this your first time?
It’s not simple you see,”
But I lie thinking,
“Oh, how hard can it be?”

The next thing I know,
I’m there waiting in line,
As orders go past,
That I’m not sure are mine.

I can’t balance trays,
The servings are askew,
The meatloaf for 6,
Is found at table 2.

Then a woman says ,
“Remove this carrion!
Don’t you know I’m
Strictly vegetarian?”

I run down to her,
Then another mishap,
The ice cream for 4,
Is in table 10’s lap.

Just a small concern,
As I fear for my life,
The chef comes at me,
With a large butcher knife.

No time for small talk,
As I run for the door,
Perhaps I’m just not,
Well cut out for this chore.

This working with food,
Just makes me too nervous,
But one lesson learned,
Folks, please tip your servers.

47 thoughts on “That Day I Was A Waitress

  1. Yes! I’ve never waitressed but I have bus-girled and even in that role I manage to drop and break a bottle of olive oil right in front of the kitchen/order-up counter adding yet another element of danger to the already precarious balancing of trays. And I dropped a butter knife in a baby carriage.

  2. Ah, yes, not a chore I would be successful at at all. OMG. Love your writing, you know that, but this one was especially good in giving such a visual!

  3. Oh how I laughed, Marissa!!! I actually took a waitressing job when I moved to Florida (18 years foolish) saying I had experience when I had zilch. What a disaster that was! Nightmare! And I did not fool anyone! A kid thinking she could kid others. Yah right. Turns out I worked really hard and was asked to become a night manager, so even though I um lied, I worked me tail bone off and got pretty good. All this from your poem. You have a way of bringing me back to when _______ . (((HUGS))) Amy

  4. I’m so far behind reading the blogs I try to follow closely, like yours–and you’ve been busy, too, damn it. I’m humbled. I picked this one because of the photo image, which is priceless, The poem is pretty good, too :0

  5. Of course now you couldn’t get a job as a waitress without having already worked at twenty places as a waitress. I had a few food-service jobs but they were both behind the counter at cafes, which involves a bit less risk (and fewer tips). I was never that great of a barista, though.

    • Oh, really? I didn’t know they upped the ante on waitresses. Back in the day, you just walked in somewhere and said you wanted to waitress and you were on that night. I had fast food service jobs too, with varying success. When I watch baristas at Starbucks, I don’t know how they do it!

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