sTupiditie iSs infFectious (Guest Blog)

This is a guest blog written by my 11 year old son as part of the “The Kids Will All Write” challenge:  

Hello. I’m Jesse, son of the (in)famous Rock ‘n’ Roll Supermom. Have you noticed that a lot of people that you see around you have a really bad case of the stupids?

Let’s start with the kids:

At my school, I have met kids who act as if they surely must have negative IQ points. For example, any time they see a boy and a girl together, they automatically think, “Oooohhh, they’re in loooove,” and then insist on “spying” on them for no particular reason, other than to just be buttholes.

Also, they will find any way possible to make something sound dirty (ex: “I had to do it”).

And worst of all when ever they’re mad, they come up with the worst ideas you have ever heard of, like,” I’m going to make the biggest gang ever, and then when he comes begging to join it, I’ll say no, and see how he likes it.” I mean, why would anyone join  a gang just to make some kid they know nothing about jealous? But as embarrassingly stupid kids can be, adults can be idiotic too.

The first of these idiots was a woman I saw at a gas station. She had parked her car the wrong way, which I’m sure most people have done. However she, instead of moving her car, spent the next 666 seconds trying to get the nozzle to the other side of the car.

I also saw another woman at a Wendy’s. She went over to the soda machine, and put her cup under the spout, and sat there waiting. It was another few minutes until she realized that she had to push the lever to get the soda to come out.

And finally, quite possibly the one with the worst case of the stupids, was a man I saw at a fro-yo place. My family and I were eating, right by the window, when this guy comes to the door. He then starts to push on the door, which he was supposed to pull on, which I’m sure almost everyone has done. The stupid part is, that, instead of trying to pull on it, he stopped, stared at all of the people who were eating in there, tried to push it some more, and then gave up and left.

So, do you have the stupids? Symptoms may include pointing out anything that sounds remotely inappropriate, not being able to get soda from soda machines, losing your ability to open doors, and, the number one sign, acting like me.


19 thoughts on “sTupiditie iSs infFectious (Guest Blog)

  1. Pingback: The Kids Will All Write | Glorious Results Of A Misspent Youth

  2. Very good first post! I think we could probably come up with a whole blog of THE STUPIDS. The world is a scary place like that sometimes.

  3. He’s sure got your sharp edged humor or did you learn from him? 😉 Fro-Yo guy (my new fave abbreviation as I think of a man with a really cold yo-yo) is probably one of those pushy personality types who never learned to pull his own weight. Ha– warn your son I do cheesy word plays.

    Here’s my contribution to Stupid. When my cell phone rings when it shouldn’t (because I stupidly forgot to turn it off) like in a theater or funeral, etc…. I either grab it and sandwich it between my hands in an attempt to muffle it, or go tearing out of the facility, embarrassed, because I can not figure out how to silence it mid-ring without answering it!

    Loved this and hope for more guest posts!

  4. Hi there young writer –
    I have a 13-year-old son who loves to write, as I’m sure you do…especially when you write as creatively as you’ve done here 🙂
    I am a substitute teacher – all levels and all subjects (except I do shy away from math. In my ‘real life’ I’m an artist. When I was in school I stuck paint brushes in my ears during math class). I’ve witnessed the ignorance you speak of in school. Kids can be pretty silly, but take comfort that some do grow up into quite marvelous people. Not all – but some :-).
    As for silly adult things, I’m embarrassed to say I’ve walked into doors several times in my life. And the other day while leaving the mall with my 16-year-old daughter, I forgot to close my car’s hatch. I had to pull over about 1/2 mile from the mall, only after someone yelled and told me 🙂
    PS You have a very special mom, but I think you know that already 🙂

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