But You Doesn’t Hasta Call Me Victoria

I don’t think I really had a name until I was about 20. But I suppose that is the plight of an identical twin . Before that it was ‘hey you’, the cringe worthy ‘twin’ or a horrifying amalgamation of both of our names, ‘Marissa-Victoria Victoria-Marissa’. I  am just happy that we predated the Bennifers and Brangelinas or we would have surely been Vicrissa or, worse yet, Maroria.

Baffled friends regarded us, studying our faces before even saying a word, in a pathetic attempt at that Holy Grail of knowledge that would answer the question, “Which one is which?” My boyfriends scratched their heads in wonder before clumsily sticking their tongues down my sister’s throat.

Then, when I was in my 20s, something terrible happened. I fell in love.

People wondered why I chose Jon as the object of my affections. He was short, with unconventional looks, and, although he was in a semi cool rock band, he was only the drummer. The thing was, Jon was the first boy who was brave enough to call me by my name. Often. And with feeling. Like it was a term of endearment. I guess anyone might find that charming and flirtatious, but oh readers, if he knew what that did for me…

Well, as you can well imagine, that relationship quickly ended in disaster as most young relationships do. However, soon other boys would come along who called me by my name. And as I established my own identity, I found other people, in different situations, calling me by my name more and more often .

But alas, no sooner had my identity had been established, then I found it all too quickly taken away. I soon married and had children and, once again I was no longer Marissa but Mommy, Mrs. Bergen, or Anjelica’s and/or Jesse’s mom. In fact, it seems the only time I am addressed by my name nowadays, is when  I’m at work or when my order is ready at El Pollo Loco.

Even my husband rarely calls me by my name. With him it’s usually ‘Babe’ (equally cringe worthy). I think he’s still a bit afraid he will call me ‘Victoria’.

And if you’re wondering whether he ever ended up with his tongue down my sister’s throat…well…that is the story for another blog.

25 thoughts on “But You Doesn’t Hasta Call Me Victoria

  1. Ha. Excellent post. Funny how identities change. Does your sister live nearby? At least in the blogosphere there’s only one Marissa Bergen that I can see! Very individual and unique 🙂

    • Wait a minute! Did I actually say I wasn’t going to buy your book? I believe there was some promise of buying it in Ebook form if you played your cards right but clearly, based on this comment I’m not so sure. (Actually Sean, I would love to read your book.)

      • Oh man, talk about egg on your face! My bad. Ha.

        Honestly though Marissa, I would love for you to read it. Mainly because I think you’ll enjoy it (I hope!). But I certainly don’t just expect you to buy it.

        AND, I shall continue to read this blog regardless. Though bare with me if I’m MIA for a while given the trip down under.

  2. I liked this post because us non twins always wonder what it is like to be a twin. (Coincidentally, as I’m typing this I just got the notification that you commented on my blog. ) I knew twins but was afraid to ask as if they had a bad disease of some sort.

  3. I once dated a guy [also a drummer- I have a thing for men who can keep a beat 😉 ] who had a fraternal twin sister- I was terrified to meet her. Were they psychically connected from sharing a womb? Would no one EVER be good enough for her in utero roommate? Fortunately, they were just totally different people who loved each other a whole lot- but not in a creepy way…

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  5. The drummer sounds cool. I think there’s something strong, silent and meaningful about the drummer of a band! This has made me realise how infrequently the people we know and love use our real names. I guess it’s a compliment…! (They know us so well maybe?!)

    Great post!

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  8. I dated twins once…yup you read that right but anyway, I remember being amazed at how easy their little brother could confidently call them by their real names. Down the line I saw them as two completely separate people and somehow almost forgot that they were identical twins – it was then that people were amazed at how easily I could tell them apart lol. My grandma always called me “luce-Soph” and my sister “Soph-Luce” so we would call her “gran-mum-dad-grandpa” just to wind her up…thinking about it it probably wasn’t fair to do that to an old lady lol!

    • Wow! Dating identical twins! My sister and I actually dated identical twins but we each had our own. You lucky dog, you! Anyway, yes after seeing twins for a while and getting to know their differences it’s sometimes difficult to see where you ever confused them. As for your grandma, judging from what I heard about her so far, think she could probably take it and give it back!

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