Aging. We all have to deal with it. However, it seems that women and men deal with it quite differently. While many women try to moderate their clothing and hairstyles to look stylish, tasteful and age appropriate, I really don’t think the term ‘age appropriate’ is understood in the male vocabulary.
Some say it is unfair that men seem to hold up so much better than women, how their salt and pepper hair and receding hair lines make them look distinguished, while women seem to have no such luck.
However, men should know, that after a certain age, there are things they just CAN NOT get away with, no matter how dapper or youthful they fancy themselves to be. I have done all aging men a great service in compiling the list below. (By the way, this was inspired by actual events that I witnessed over the past 7 days.)
Aging men SHOULD NOT:
10.Ride a skateboard (this includes scooters, segways, and riding on the backs of shopping carts)
9. Go out without a shirt on (nuff said)
8. If you must date a younger woman, do not go down the street holding her hand. She will look like your daughter
7. Drive a convertible (especially if you have a bald spot) or any terribly small car that looks like an extension of your penis
6. Wear shorts, especially with white sport socks and sandals
5. Toupees, bad hair restorations, comb overs and obviously dyed hair are not highly recommended
4. Nor are most types of plastic surgery
3. Use youthful slang (don’t pretend you are jiggy with it, you are most certainly NOT jiggy with it)
2. Flirt with noticeably younger women, especially in that ‘I’m so cute’ sort of way
And the number 1 thing aging men (or perhaps men of any age) should never do (drumroll please)
10. Wear a Speed-o
That’s right guys, you’re doing it, we’re looking and it’s not good!
- 10 ways to keep baldness at bay (news.optuszoo.com.au)
- A Guide To Small Balls (golfburn1.wordpress.com)
- 5 Tips For Hair Growth For Middle-Aged Men. (trainbodyandmind.com)
- How to spot a man over forty – the definitive guide (turningtwicetwenty.com)
- Philip Roth is wrong about elderly sex (salon.com)
- Midlife Crisis, or not? (undiscoverednormality.wordpress.com)